A Glee Family Picnic
by Tigerdust
Summary: The blue and yellows of a sunny Saturday inspire a Glee family picnic. More than one surprise and more than one quip along with burgers, deviled egg potato salad, and warm soda because Finn forgot to bring ice and coolers! Ensemble cast, most pairings. Rated T because Santana has one swear word.


Sunshine is a beautiful thing, especially if the entire week has been rain bound. There is something about the lifting of dark grey into perfect blue and brilliant yellow that makes each heart go pitter pat. Even the people with allergies agree.

Maybe that was why Kurt Hummel woke up with a wonderful idea. He dialed one of the only people he knew would understand.

"Hello?" The voice sounded like she was underwater.

"Quinn. Let's have a picnic today."

"Kurt? Kurt…it's like 9:30 in the morning."

"I know! It's so spur of the moment and the day is just singing and its so blue and we just have to be part of it and…"

Quinn pulled the phone back from her ear just a little bit and then cocked her head. She found herself headed toward a window. Yes, it was pretty. Yes, Kurt's enthusiasm was contagious. "Did you and Blaine go to another Sound of Music sing-a-long?"

"No, well yes but that didn't affect this. I just, I just want to do something today Quinn. Let's get everybody together and just go crazy!"

"Well, I was just going to stay inside and pop Claritin all day, but I guess I can suffer through the allergies. Do you want me to call anyone on the phone tree?"

"Call everyone! Even if they don't want to go! Even if they're busy! It's going to be so much fun."

Quinn hung up after the third exclamation mark. She shook her head. Well, what else was she going to do today? She thought about Beth for a moment and wondered if Shelby would let her go for an outing. She put the thought in the back of her mind just briefly._ No_, Quinn thought,_ they're mother and daughter. I was just the womb_. She wanted to call Shelby pretty badly though.

Instead, she called Santana. "Hey Q, what's up?"

"Nothing. Just got a call from Kurt and he had an idea for today."

"Was it coming to this salon and doing this pedicure for me? Cause I'm sure he could it better than this Vietnamese labor party reject could."

Quinn could feel the heat of Santana's glare through the phone. "No, not quite. He was thinking of a picnic."

"How very seventh grade."

"I know. And I thought, why not? What the hell? How many lazy picnic days do we have left? You in?"

Santana thought for a moment. "I'm at a spa day with mom. Let me think about it and call you back, okay Q?"

"Okay," Quinn nodded to no one in particular and then shut her phone. She walked down the upstairs hallway of her house, soft carpet on bare feet and leaned over the railing. "Hey mom?"

Judy Fabray just happened to be passing through from the kitchen with her morning Wall Street Journal. "Yes, dear?"

"Do we still have that recipe for those heart shaped jam cookies from Grandma Lane?"

Judy thought a moment. "I think so. Having a craving?"

"Kind of," Quinn smiled sweetly. "One of the guys from Glee club just called and he's trying to organize a picnic and I thought it would be kind of fun to make some to take along."

"Sure honey. I'm sure I've got the recipe around somewhere. You can probably get two or three dozen done before noon."

"What if we worked together?"

Judy smiled at Quinn in a way she hadn't smiled in a couple of years.

- **Back at Kurt's house** -

"Mike and Tina said they were in! Tina said she had a couple of baskets and Mike's family just got back from a church camping trip so they have plenty of disposable stuff left."

"That's great," Blaine added with a golden retriever style yawn from the bed, "does this mean I have to get up?"

"Don't you want to get up? Look at this day! It makes me want to …_sing_."

Blaine chuckled to himself as he tried to rise from bed but failed. "Okay, Ms. Garland, but if you get attacked by the Lollipop Guild at this thing I am not going to be held responsible."

Kurt cocked an eyebrow. "I should hit you with a pillow for that remark."

Blaine stretched out on the bed, skin peeking through his white sleep shirt. "Bet you wouldn't. I'm unarmed."

"Oh yeah," Kurt added with a slight leap over the bed where he grabbed one of his pillows and prepared to bop Blaine.

"No! Never give up, never surrender," Blaine chortled as he moved and squirmed to try and unsuccessfully avoid the pillow.

A knock on the door interrupted the fight after a few seconds. "Hey, is everyone decent?"

"Come on in, dad. I'm just being attacked by a lazy…ah…Blaine! My hair!"

Burt Hummel walked into blankets askew and two warrior boys brandishing as if on the attack mode. "Okay, boys, now put the pillows down and back away slowly."

"Your son is mean, Mr. Hummel," Blaine whimpered

"Tell my boyfriend he needs to get out of bed and enjoy the day, " Kurt retorted.

Burt put his hands up. "Now, I'm not getting involved in this. I was just wondering what's going on, hearing all this about a picnic or something second hand and you ain't even told your brother yet?"

Kurt's eyes went wide. "I was…I was getting there. He's on the phone tree."

"Well, you might wanna get around to it sooner rather than later. And no more rough-housing," Burt added with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You have the coolest dad ever."

"I know," Kurt said and aimed his pillow at Blaine's chest, taking a flying leap at his beau.

"Oof…unfair! Hey, did you call Mercedes yet?"

"Texted her, she said she'd call me back when she was free. Helping to do outfits for a local production of the Wiz with her cousin as Diana Ross."

"That will be adorable."

"Hope so, we have tickets already to go…oh, text message!" Kurt's phone buzzed.

- **Meanwhile, Down in the Hudson-Hummel Den**-

"Well, I think its an appalling lack of courtesy not calling you first!" Rachel stated. "After all, you are his stepbrother."

"It's okay Rachel, I just got up. He knows I don't normally answer texts before eleven on weekends anyways," Finn said into his phone while putting his Sunny D on the coffee table. Vintage Flinstones cartoons blared in the background. Finn's faded Doors concert shirt still had crumbs from the toast at breakfast.

"I'm just saying that this thing could have been organized a little better. What about parties at the park? What about babysitting jobs anyone might have had? What about weather forecasts? Food preparations? There are a plethora of…"

Finn put his hand up to halt Rachel's "planning phase" speech before she got to into it. "It's a last minute thing Rachel. It'll be fine. I told Mike we'd pick up sodas on the way and I'm about to call Puck so he can get some sandwiches and stuff."

"That's your idea of a picnic?"

"What? It's not like we need to do anything special."

"Well, we should. I mean, how many of these do we have left before graduation? Do you think I should bring my karaoke machine?"

Finn laughed lightly on his side of the phone. "I think it will be okay for now. Why don't we just play it by ear?"

Rachel sighed and pouted to no one in particular. "Okay, but don't blame me if someone gets sunburned! Can't say I didn't warn them!"

"No, that's definitely true."

- **The McKinley High Football Field, 11:15 AM**-

"What is this giant ball of death in the sky and why does it burn so much?" Blaine intoned as he walked with Kurt, his arm around Kurt's shoulder.

"You're really not a Saturday morning person, are you?"

"We could have stayed in."

"Yes, but then we'd miss this." Kurt gestured all around him. "And who'd want to miss this?"

"It's Astroturf, Kurt. It will outlast us."

Kurt turned his nose up to Blaine. "You have no imagination, sir."

"And you have no music," came Artie's voice from the background, "or you didn't until Grandmaster Abrams arrived!"

"Good morning to you to, Artie. Can't really do a Glee picnic without tunes."

"Or balloons!" Brittany piped up as she rolled Artie forward, cheerfully dressed in pink and yellow as though she had just come from yoga practice.

"You didn't let the balloons go already, did you Brittany?" Kurt asked as there were no balloons around.

"Why would I do that? You can't see them from space for very long." Brittany added.

"They're in the car," Artie interjected. "Lord Tubbington wasn't feeling it."

"Well, next time maybe he won't mistake the red balloons for communists. He was a freedom fighter in a past life, you know."

- **The Fabray Kitchen** -

"Quinnie, that was so much fun," Judy smiled.

"Yeah, it was. And it was totally worth it to get all this gunk in our hair."

"You mean the stuff we didn't eat first?"

Quinn nodded. "Exactly. We should probably pack these up before we eat too many."

"Didn't I tell you, Quinnie? The best part of these cookies is makin' them to share with those you love."

"Yeah. That's a good way to look at it. I'm very lucky."

"Blessed honey, blessed."

"I know, mom, I know. Hey mom, I have an idea…"

- **Football Field, 11:25 AM** -

"Dude, this looks awesome," Finn exclaimed as he walked across the field with a couple boxes of sodas under each arm. "Like a party or something."

"It's amazing what you can come up with even without proper planning," Rachel quipped. "Now I brought sunscreen and we've got footballs and Frisbees in the car when we need them. I've also printed out a list of party games…."

"Rachel," Blaine started, "calm down. You're just over thinking it. Although, thanks for bringing the sunscreen."

"You're welcome Blaine. Glad somebody understands how certain things can be overlooked without notification."

"Let it go, Rachel. Nobody did anything to hurt your feelings. Enjoy the sun too, that is if you can see over that giant parasol you brought."

Rachel smiled at Kurt from beneath her oversized pink umbrella as he helped Finn to unload the sodas. "Kurt, man, I forgot the coolers. That's gonna suck, warm soda and all."

"Noooo," Blaine intoned from where he sat, perched to grab the sun rays.

"Look how perfect this is!" Tina chimed in before Rachel could start her preparation speech again.

"Yeah man," Mike added, "this looks great. We've got the blankets and baskets and stuff. Saw Lauren and Puck at the store, wait til you see them."

"Why? What do they look like?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," Mike smiled. "So where are we setting up?"

Kurt thought for a moment. "Well, we can sit on the ground but use the bleachers to hold the food, I guess. Glad the field wasn't in use today."

- **Five Minutes Pass** -

They heard Santana before they saw her. She was in a freshly-washed red truck that was definitely not her normal car. Brittany skipped over to see her when she figured out it was Santana toting a barbecue. "Is this your dad's new truck?"

Santana nodded. "Sure thing. And these are my hot new nails."

Brittany gave a little squeal of delight. "Oh honey, they're gorgeous!"

"I know! Now let's get some man power to get this thing unloaded so we can do this up right."

Artie was discussing The Artist with Kurt when he saw Santana and Brittany grab Finn and Blaine and point to the barbecue. "Ummm…Kurt? Did anyone bring burgers or hot dogs?"

"No," Kurt thought, "did anyone say anything other than low maintenance sandwiches and such?"

Rachel started to squirm from where she was, lip-synching to Katy Perry. "I…

"Let it go, Rachel," Kurt stated bluntly.

The barbecue rolled smoothly across the Astroturf and stopped just near the bleachers. Santana folded her arms. "I'm awesome, I know. Feel free to thank me."

"Well, I would, but we don't have anything to cook on it."

"Yes we do," Blaine stated. "Apparently someone's uncle was in town and makes some pretty awesome carne asada?"

"Yes, pretty boy, you are correct," Santana smirked. "So fire that puppy up."

"Someone should call Puck and tell him not to bring sandwiches," Rachel said off-hand.

Artie smiled as he snapped his phone shut. "Already thought ahead."

"Already planned ahead," came Puck's voice from across the field. He and Lauren were swaggering toward the group with at least one box of burgers and a couple of bags of buns and hot dogs. "We can totally eat it all."

"Our heroes," Blaine stated while leaning into the sun like a cat on a windowsill.

"Where have you guys been?" Artie asked with a grin.

Puck shrugged. "You know, up all night at motoderby madness up in Maumee."

Lauren glowed, even under the weird fan make-up. "We haven't been to sleep and we met the first two drivers of Gravedigger and Gravedigger Jr. the motorbike. Well, you know, the ones that didn't die from brain damage during that motorcycle stunt a few years back."

"So sad…such a waste…"

"Your empathy is kind of a turn on, Puckerman," Lauren added.

"So, this is propane, pretty nice Santana." Finn approved while fiddling with the chrome nobs. "Hey Puck, you wanna handle burger duty with me?"

"As if, string bean," Lauren quipped, "I am gonna make you the best burger you've ever had."

"Challenge accepted," several of the Glee members answered in unison and then laughed.

- **10 Minutes Pass** -

_And a shout out from Mercedes Jones to the rest of her McKinley High Glee Clubbers on this warm Saturday_ came the announcement from the radio. Rachel screamed in response.

"Just like Mercedes to make an entrance," Kurt giggled. "Did anyone get ketchup?" he asked as he laid across a blanket, his head using Blaine's right knee as a pillow.

Lauren glared down from her grill station where she was Iron Cheffing it against Finn and his hot dog plates. Occasionally there would be the treat of a spatula sword fight but mostly there was just awesome beef heating up and sizzling in the sun. "Ketchup is for wussies, Hummel."

Mercedes wasn't far behind her message either. She walked across the field with two coolers, rolling them across the track so she wouldn't indent the field. "Now I know you all ain't eating without me?"

"We're bad people," Rachel feigned apologetically.

Puck shrugged and continued eating. "We already knew I was bad people."

"Did you guys hear my shout out on the radio?"

Kurt gave a half nod as he smiled. "Impressed at your flawless taste as always Mercedes. And thankful for rescuing us with your coolers of ice."

"Oh, that's not all I brought."

Santana looked around. "Yeah, where's trouty mouth? Aren't you guys official again?"

"I'm up here," Sam exclaimed from higher up the bleachers in his best Sean Connery voice. He had snuck up a secret tunnel that he and Mercedes had found only a month ago. He was holding something colorful in his hands and had a black trash bag.

"Hold up…"

"Are those…"

"Not the hair! I just had it done!" Kurt dove, pulling Blaine away just in time. The barrage of water balloons had begun, Mercedes accompanying with her own cackle of glee.

"Oh, its on now!" Puck snorted as he motioned to Mike.

Mike nodded and kissed Tina. "I love you. If I don't make it…"

"I know. I'll make sure your audition tape gets to So You Think You Can Dance," she replied melodramatically.

"Watch out for the grill," Lauren issued a warning. "I'm not wasting my best burgers for woman lips up there!"

"I'm gonna get you, Sam Evans!" Rachel cried out. "That was cold!"

"No one comes out of the Glee picnic alive," Sam crowed as Mercedes crossed her arms and sat on one of her coolers after retrieving her deviled egg potato salad.

"Hey Jones, you sharing that?"

Mercedes walked through the water balloon field without a splash. "Of course, girl. Can't have a picnic without this."

Lauren nodded like the bad-ass she was. "Have a soda. They're warm."

Mercedes made a pssh sound. "See, this is why boys need us girls. We'd never let soda get warm at a girls picnic."

"Preach." Lauren quipped while a water balloon landed a couple of feet away. "Watch the grill, Evans!"

"Don't worry babe. He's goin' down," Puck stated with a growl. Mike followed Puck with matching water guns.

"Never give up! Never surrender!"

"Die, vermin, die!"

Howls, chaos, confusion, water in all directions and then….

"Can't you people just have a picnic without it devolving into chaos?" Quinn was there holding a tray of cookies in one of her vintage sundresses with cherries dotting it in lines.

"No," came a chorus of male voices from higher up the bleachers, where Noah and Sam were battling it out, water balloon grenade to water gun refill cartridge.

Mike had given up and gone down to the field to dry. Mike, Blaine, and Artie were taking on Tina, Brittany, and Finn in a loose game of ultimate Frisbee. Rachel and Kurt were giving half-hearted cheers from the side lines when not issuing sunscreen or generally lounging about. And Rachel was biting her tongue when she saw the way that Kurt rubbed lotion into Blaine's shoulders.

"What you got there, girl?" Mercedes beckoned Quinn over for a burger.

"Fabray's holding out on us," Lauren noted, "look at how adorable those things are."

"And they're pretty good, if I do say so myself," Quinn added,_ especially considering I ate about four of them before I got here_.

"Hey, is there food?" Sam barreled down the top of the bleachers, sopping wet.

"Maybe if you'd stop aiming for the grill," Lauren teased him before handing him a burger. Sam winked at Mercedes as he took a bite.

- **One More Surprise** -

"Holy shit!" Santana exclaimed as a lull came over the party.

"What?" the chorus of curiosity followed.

Santana was pointing in the direction of the parking lot. It looked like someone was walking over to them.

"It couldn't be," Quinn smiled. "Nobody would have thought to call him, would they?"

Brittany got up first. "Matt!"

Matt walked up on Brittany's arm, his hands in his pockets. "Hey everybody."

Mike left Tina's side to greet him, a smile on his face. "Hey yourself! It's been a long time."

Puck nodded. "True that. What you been up to?"

Mike shrugged. "You know. Here and there."

"What? You guys didn't here? He's only get the most awesome job now," Artie added. "Go on, you've gotta tell them."

Matt shrugged. "I don't wanna brag, but okay. You know how I transferred to Mt. Carmel, right? Well, I ended up meeting some guy whose best friend's brother worked with the Cleveland Browns and last week I was offered an internship with their nutrition department. Means a full ride scholarship when I graduate high school too!"

Rachel smiled wide. "That's amazing."

Matt nodded. "I know. But I've missed you guys so much. And those burgers…they smell amazing. I brought chips!" He held up white bags in his hand just to prove the point.

"Get them while they're hot!" Lauren exclaimed. "And no, I ain't telling the family secret. Not unless you gonna pay me, okay?"

- **Clean Up Time** -

"Best picnic ever, Kurt. Thanks so much for thinking of this," Tina smiled as she was packing up. Most everyone had started wandering off about four pm to get home for dinner or to do weekend chores, so it was Santana and Lauren working on the grill, Mike and Puck sucking the helium from the balloons, and Blaine doing trash duty with Kurt.

"I owe it all to mother nature. And my complete and utter whimsy," Kurt replied fancifully.

"Yeah dude. We've got to do this again soon. You've got great taste," Puck added with the last balloon inhaled. He was doing a great Donald Duck impression as his arm lazed over Kurt's shoulder.

And soon enough it was Kurt and Blaine as it had been earlier in the day. They were sauntering back to their car, the last in the lot. The bleachers and field looked no worse for wear, the food was packed up, the field was quiet once again. Kurt was leaning on Blaine, satisfied and happy.

Blaine talked softly. "You know that you're amazing, right?"

A sigh of happiness escaped Kurt's lips. "I know." He loosely squeezed Blaine's midsection. "I think we should do this sort of thing all the time."

"With everyone?"

"Nah. Maybe just the two of us."

"Only if we can get Lauren to cater. That girl has mad skills."

"I was thinking of a twilight picnic. Chateau'briand and some sparking summer cider, little finger sandwiches…."

"You were thinking of us."

"Guilty, can't help it. Not when I'm in love with the most gorgeous guy."

They stopped at the car, Kurt turning to open the door and instead finding himself leaning against the door to face Blaine. "Hey! I thought I was in love with the most gorgeous guy."

"Well, you are."

"I know. Now shut up and kiss me."

And, as sunset descended, Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel did just that.


End file.
